4/30/2023 0 Comments Panda showHe’s able to take monthly trips with his girlfriend. From redditor u/ThrowAwayUncle44’s posts, it appears that he’s doing pretty well, financially. The second issue at play here is a bit more subtle. Image credits: ollinka (not the actual photo) Some families see each relative’s time and money as shared resources Being a family member doesn’t mean giving up your entire identity. It’s fine to make your boundaries more flexible the closer you are to someone else as you look for compromises (you care about these people, after all), but it would be a mistake to do whatever someone else tells you to, whenever they tell you to, just because you’re related to them. If you don’t communicate and enforce them, then you’ll start resenting those who cross them. They’re essential for healthy and thriving relationships, whether they’re familial or romantic. Living without any boundaries means living at your expense. But turning babysitting into an annoying and challenging part-time job is probably not the best way to get on someone’s good side. Asking for a spot of help from time to time is fine. It’s essential that you don’t take a relative’s willingness to help for granted. Everyone needs to set expectations and be on the same page. When it comes to setting boundaries, there’s no alternative to good communication. The second appears to be linked to something that can cause arguments in any family-money. The first has to do with setting boundaries with family members and how they’re struggling to accept this new reality. There seem to be two main issues at work here. Image credits: gpointstudio (not the actual photo) There were some suggestions thrown about that he should be sacrificing everything for his family. And the OP’s family accused him of not pulling his own weight. Everyone said a lot of mean things they probably regretted. The argument that followed the redditor’s proclamation that he’d like to go on a trip with his girlfriend instead of taking care of his nephew was of epic proportions. The longer you keep giving in, the more they will make you believe that doing favors for them is an obligation and you’ll hesitate setting boundaries because of guilt.” Meanwhile, here’s his advice for someone who might be in his shoes: “I can say without a doubt is try to recognize that you are being manipulated and put your foot down as soon as possible. My best guess is that they resent me for getting out of their control,” the OP said. They refused to pay for my education and I pretty much had to finance everything myself via working and scholarships. “I wanted to go to school in the US which my parents disapproved of while my brother did all his education in our home country. My older brother was my parent’s favorite no doubt about that and he was pretty much always prioritized over me,” he explained. “I think it just comes down to favoritism. Meanwhile, we were curious as to why the redditor’s family had such a hard time accepting the boundaries that he tried to establish.
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